This morning I was 241. I was seeing 239 on the scale for a week and then grocery day came and I blew it pretty bad. I don't mean I ate cake or anything, I just ate way too much.
It's good to know that I shouldn't have certain things in the house until I really get used to eating smaller portions. I don't want to say I will never have certain things in my house again PERIOD because there will always be a time, being that I have other people in the house, that those things will be present. I found out on grocery day I cannot have trail mix. Why? Because its easy to just grab and it, uh, tastes good. Way too many calories. For now while my kids are young enough not to protest too much I can just substitute the trail mix for something I don't enjoy as much. Even plain nuts, small whole wheat crackers, whatever. When it becomes more of a habit to eat less then I will introduce those things back in if I feel like I need to.
I am still determined to get lower than 240 by the 10th. I have not given up! I lost my pedometer (in the health food store of all places) and no one turned it in, so that's a big bummer. It definitely see the difference in how much I am up and about in a day without it. I should replace it at some point, but Christmas presents come first!
I caught myself eating emotionally last night at about 11. I can't figure out what emotion I was having. I know it wasn't happy, but that's the only thing I figured out. If I notice I'm doing this I just need to stop. My life is a little chaotic with all the kids, so if I don't just stop, I'll ALWAYS be eating for emotional reasons.
I guess this week I just need to stay positive and remember that I am still learning. I am not doing what I used to do (eating huge amounts of tater tots). I am not back up to my biggest weight. I am still aware of what I'm doing and trying to make better decisions.
Some positive things are..
I decided to really watch what my kids eat. They eat decent most of the time with the exception of those things like tater tots once in a while. We are vegetarian so they eat quite a bit of soy but they do eat things like goldfish crackers. Because of some behavioral issues my oldest is having (will get a diagnosis on the 15th hopefully), I decided to cut out foods with dyes and any kind of sugar that isn't from a fruit. Of course there will be exceptions like birthdays, halloween, etc., but really they don't miss the crap so far at all.
Another positive is that I am about 2 weeks away from being 3 months postpartum and I am actually at a lower weight than I have been in a couple years.
And just because here is my little Finnegan the day he was born (in a cute hat grandma made him!)
